


Unsteady

by waiting4love



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Comfort/Angst, Friendship/Love, Future Fic, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-05
Updated: 2014-06-05
Packaged: 2018-02-03 11:43:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1743494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waiting4love/pseuds/waiting4love
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Felicity confesses to something she thinks Oliver is never going to forgive her for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unsteady

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote a thing. My first ever Olicity thing. It came completely out of nowhere but I'm thinking the timeline could be about a year after the S2 finale. Also in this Dick Grayson and Felicity have a past together and Thea has already gone to the dark side and come back completely aware of her brother's night activities. Hope this isn't a complete disaster. English is not my first language and any mistakes are my own. Enjoy!

“I’m so sorry” She said as she was holding back tears threatening to fall from her eyes.  It was not her place to cry. She was the one to mess up; when they both always thought deep down it would be him.

He stared at her in a silence so deafening she would've preferred screaming. At least yelling was a reaction. 

“I’m sorry it happened when we were finally getting somewhere” She said again letting her mouth run away from her. She wanted to control everything, every word, every tear, but it was clear whatever conversation she imagined they would be having was not the one that was happening.

He closed his eyes with a force she had come to know very well. He was regaining control and that was the first clue she had as to what he was thinking. He knew how to close himself off so well that it was almost impossible to read him, even for her, even after everything.

“Oliver” She let out and it sounded almost as a cry for help. Maybe in a way it was exactly that. A cry for him to do something, to say something, anything that could help lift the pressure in her chest even a little bit.

She decided to sit down, to give him a few more minutes, so she pulled her chair away from her computers and sat down across from him her back against her desk.  He sighed heavily and disappeared towards the back of the Foundry. For a second she thought he was going to leave her there and then a few minutes later he reappeared wearing his usual sparing outfit and went straight to the training dummy hitting it with all he had. He went at it for a while. She didn't know what to do, but she was sure letting him get the anger out this way was probably the healthiest thing for them both.

She had done this.

She had made him lose control and a part of her was terrified of knowing she had so much power over him.

“Why?” Were the first words that left his lips after her confession, he wasn’t even looking at her when he said them. She was only able to hear him because all of her attention was focused on him, he spoke so low.

“Oliver” She began standing up and coming closer to where he was still throwing punches. “Look at me” She asked him pleadingly. He stopped fighting but didn’t look.

“WHY?” He said again much louder, more out of control.

“Because I loved him once” She said because there wasn’t anything else she could say for herself.

He closed his eyes again and pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers strongly. Silence fell upon them again and all she could think about was how glad she was they were alone, that tonight no one had come to train and the alerts were quiet. Because if someone were to see them in this situation she was sure Oliver was going to lose it completely.

“That’s it?” He said with a humorless smile “I’m supposed to forgive you because you loved him once?” He was adamant to face her. Maybe he didn’t want to give anything away, but she was sure even if she did look at her she couldn’t feel worse than she did at the moment.

“You don’t have to forgive me” She told him and she meant it. Felicity hadn’t told him because she was looking for forgiveness. She did it because she couldn’t lie to him. Not when he was working so hard at being honest with her, when he had opened himself up so much in the last few months.

He sighed again and this time took a towel and cleaned himself up before coming closer to her.  He was still a few feet away but his sight was only on her.

“What do you want from me?” Oliver asked her and his tone was broken. As was her heart.

She couldn’t answer him. She didn’t know what she wanted but she did know asking for forgiveness was selfish, pretending they could go back to- whatever they were doing like nothing had happened was impossible.

_I want you. I did this because I had to get him out of my system. Because I couldn’t live thinking he was the one that got away. I want us_. She thought about saying. That was the truth, at least for the most part, but she couldn’t get herself to say the words.

“Why would you tell me?” He asked again later when it was clear she wasn’t going to answer his previous question.

Another tough one she thought. But this she could answer.

“We agreed” She said with a softness that was probably not adequate to their current situation “We said no lies. And you have been so honest with me about your past, about the island. You have come a long way from the guy that told me he had no happy stories. I couldn’t lie to you Oliver” She wanted to reach out to him, to touch him, but she was certain it wasn’t the moment to do it.

“Is this about Isabel?” He said again in that low tone he had used before. This time she presumed because he knew how outrageous his question was. She stared at him maybe waiting for him to take back his question. He didn’t.

“The fact that you have to ask that it’s ridiculous” She told him with a stern tone.

“Ridiculous? As ridiculous as you sleeping with Dick Grayson don’t you think?” His self-control was hanging on a thread and she could see it.

“Richard’s not the man you think he is”

“I couldn’t care less about the man that he is Felicity” He screamed. Finally. “I do care about the fact that my- that you slept with him, while we are-“He stopped and it was a good thing because otherwise she would’ve had to stop him herself.

“Your what Oliver? What am I to you? What is this?” She asked and her own tone had gone up at least an octave. Screaming match it is she thought.

  “If you wanted to define our relationship you could’ve asked. It wasn’t necessary to screw Grayson” He said and it was obvious he knew the mistake he had made at soon as the words left him. She thought about slapping him but preferred to simply walk away instead. She went to get her purse and hurried out the stairs. He was frozen in place apparently, because the only movement she could hear was her own heels against the concrete. “Felicity” He said loudly, it sounded a little like his usual arrow voice. “Wait” He said again still in place. She was afraid to look back, she knew he was going to be mad, but throwing their fragile relationship status in her face wasn’t going to get them anywhere.

“I think it’s best if I let you figure things out before we can keep talking about it” She said completely in control, or that was the idea. He came to stand in front of her blocking her way, but not close enough to touch.

“How I’m I supposed to feel about this?” He said frustrated running a hand through his hair. Oliver was looking at her as if she had the answers to everything. He was angry, but the other emotions she saw in his eyes were ones she wasn’t prepared to deal with yet.

 Again she didn’t respond, there wasn’t anything she could tell him. She didn’t know how this was supposed to go either.

“So what happens now?” Oliver said after a short while. They were both standing at the beginning of the stairs looking at each other intensely.

“I don’t know” She confessed her tears closer from surfacing that before.

“Are you and him-“He began but she promptly interrupted.

“NO” Felicity told him with more conviction than was strictly necessary.  “I mean no” She said lowering her tone considerably “He’s going back to Bludhaven. We are not- It was just a onetime thing” She explained again trying not to be too specific.

He sighed. She wasn’t sure if it was because he felt relieved or he was still very frustrated, probably a mix of both.

“Felicity” He whispered and he came closer caressing her cheek softly.  His hands were caring and his stare was deep, it scared her to see him so vulnerable yet so in control, in any other person it would be an impossible feat but for him it came easy.  Sometimes because he was faking his emotions, but she doubted this was one of those occasions. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes” He said again looking intently at her, the hand that was caressing her cheek coming to a halt. “And this is just another one of those”

So this was it she thought while he silently decided what his next words would be. He was breaking up something that never had a real chance and it was worse than she could’ve thought it would be.

“I never told you how I felt. I never showed you how incredibly much you mean to me” He said and his voice was filled with regret and longing.  “Because I need you Felicity, much more than I probably ever needed anyone before” Oliver said taking his hand away from her face and taking her hands in his instead.  “I hate that this happened, believe me thinking about Grayson’s hands on you-” He said and he had to look away for a second to control his anger at the mere thought of her with somebody else, it was cute if it wasn’t for the terrible situation they were in “I don’t want that to happen ever again okay? Not with Grayson, not with anyone else that isn’t-“He stopped and looked at her as if the sentence didn’t need completing. It didn’t, she understood perfectly what he meant, she just wasn’t sure it could be real.

“What are you saying Oliver?” She said and was glad to hear her voice sounding as normal as it could given the situation.

“I want you. I want us. I’m sorry it took me this long to say it. I was trying to protect you” He said earnestly with a smile full of conviction. She felt breathless just by looking at him.

“I don’t need protecting from you Oliver” Felicity told him with a smile of her own. She reached out to him surrounding his neck with her arms. The smell of sandalwood was intoxicating and so very Oliver.  “And even if I did. I think is too late now”

She wanted to be the one to initiate the kiss but he beat her to it, he kissed her hard filled with need and hunger like he was somehow running out of something essential to his survival. It wasn’t their first kiss. But it was the first one when they both were on the same page, it was the first kiss of this new direction their relationship was taking and it felt exactly right.

“Oh my God” The words stop them in their tracks. Felicity attempted to get as far away from Oliver as physically possible but he restrained her holding her around the waist firmly and giving her a last peck on the lips before looking at the person standing at the top of the stairs. “I knew it!” The younger sibling said nearly jumping up and down with excitement.

“Thea” Oliver acknowledged her with a slight grin. It looked so out of place in his brooding face it made Felicity crack a smile too. “What did I tell you about barging in like you own the place?” He asked her but his tone was teasing.

“And what did I tell you about staying away from smart blondes?” she replied with the same tone smiling brightly. “So now can we all stop playing dumb about you two? Officially?” She asked giggling with joy.

“Maybe officially is a big-“Felicity began saying. Yes she wanted them to be a thing. Who was she kidding she wanted them to be everything. _But_. There’s always a but, this wasn’t the way she imagined things going, last week she had lost hope and ended up having long overdue sex with Richard. She didn’t expect Oliver to get over it, even less so for him to forget it that fast. And then he spoke before she could finish her statement.

“Yes” He said and gave her a long and steady look, in which he kind of sighed, but it was quiet, she didn’t know how else to describe it. It was something she had only ever seen Oliver do, sigh silently and give her a particular kind of smile. It was so completely reassuring, so filled with emotion she couldn’t believe it was happening. “We are officially together” He said now looking at Thea and pressing her closer to him still.

“I thought this moment would never come” The younger Queen said beaming at both of them. “I’ll give you two a moment but don’t think you’re getting out of a full report later Felicity Smoak” She told her with an accusing finger before closing the door behind her and leaving them alone as promised.

“Oliver” She said as soon as the sound of the closing door filled the room. “Are you sure about this?” This wasn’t particularly what one would call starting off on the right foot, after all they’ve been through together was her kind-of-cheating-but-not-actually situation was how they were going to being? It felt a little off. Also she felt tons of guilt about it.

“I’m completely sure I never want to let _you_ go” He said with a serious face and she had to look away for a second to be able to control herself under the intensity of his words. “You know better than anyone that I’ve made my share of really crappy decisions in the past. You also know I’ve tried to mend romantic relationships that were dead from the get go” He told her with a tight smile that made her think he was remembering the specifics of such relationships. “I won’t judge, not for this. I just need to know you’re in this with me, because if you are, and I really hope that’s the case. That’s it. No more crappy decisions, no more sleeping with random girls. Just you and me”

If someone told her a two years- okay no if someone ever told her she would be having this conversation with Oliver Queen former playboy turned vigilante. She would have had a good laugh. Not because she thought he would never look at her that way. Okay so she wasn’t completely sure he would but it wasn’t about that. She never imagined he could be this open with her in this particular area of his life. Yes they were friends, yes they were partners but she never really saw how being a couple could work.

 Never until that day on the island after capturing Slade.

Never until their first kiss which they didn’t talk about for like a month after it happened.

Never until just right this second when she realized that it could.

 Because one of the things they had always been lacking, both of them, in their past relationships was trust. And that’s all they had now in each other.  Trust that no matter the outcome they had someone to lean on that knew everything: the good, the bad, the ugly and still stayed. That was even better than magic or romance or whatever people usually look for in relationships. They were so incredibly lucky to have that and love, because they did, neither of them have said it, she wasn’t sure she was ready to hear it but she couldn’t deny that she felt it and just by looking into his deep blue eyes she could see it there too.

They had come a long way and she wasn’t so deluded to think it was going to be smooth sailing. She just knew that no matter what she wanted him and all the complications he brought with him.

“Just you and me against the world Oliver Queen” She told him and they both smiled and the kiss that followed, that one meant everything.

 

* * *

 

 

 


End file.
